If your wife wants a divorce all of a sudden, you’re likely to be shocked, scared, and even angry. While you may not have seen this coming, it’s more likely that her sudden desire to call it quits could be coming from somewhere else.

Here’s what may be going on.

If your wife says she loves you but is no longer “in love” with you, you may consider outside intrusion – if there is someone else in the picture. If your wife has stepped out of the marriage, she is likely to be so infatuated with her lover that the marriage is no longer of interest. Romantic love is intoxicating, deep committed love may have grown distant. If someone else is in the picture and your wife refuses to end the affair, there are still things that you can do.

If there is no intruder, she could be struggling with stress, depression, feeling neglected or under the influence of others including friends or even an individual therapist. If she complains about you to friends or a therapist without them hearing your side, they may provide shortsighted advice and may even encourage divorce. While it is unfair for friends or a therapist to provide such advice without knowledge of your side or a complete picture, it does happen more than you think and can be at the root of a sudden turn of events.

Your relationship may have been put on the back burner as you focused on raising children or building a career, It happens. Sadly, our culture doesn’t always promote fighting for love through seasons of difficulty. It can be real easy to find validation from others and encouragement to leave and pursue her own happiness.

Divorce is a life changing decision. It’s important that a decision is made conscientiously and not a reaction to pain or influence of others.

We freely love and freely allow others to make their own choices. If your wife does not choose to stay, we are here to help you end well, develop healthy coparenting plans, and to help you heal.

If your wife chooses to give the marriage a try, we are expert at helping marriages heal from neglect, stress, or infidelity.

We are here to help in either situation.