Couples often come to marriage or relationship counseling after trying to make changes on their own. Couples struggling with intimacy, communication, infidelity, or other issues often wonder if couples therapy or marriage counseling works.
There are indeed couples who have succeeded and couples who have failed at overcoming challenges with counseling or therapy.
What helps relationships get on a healthy track or heal from a traumatic issue like a betrayal of trust?
The Answer: it is two people who believe that their relationship is worth saving and that each value the person of the other.
Trust can be rebuilt. Communication can be repaired. Relationships can be strengthened. What no relationship can survive is disrespect or contempt. That is the one characteristic that has a corrosive effect on any remaining love if left unattended.
IS MARRIAGE COUNSELING EFFECTIVE?
It’s something I’m asked regularly: “Is marriage counseling just a waste of time and money?”
While cheaper than a divorce, marriage counseling is not effective if:
- either spouse is not willing to commit to change or put in the effort to work on the marriage,
- either spouse is not ready to re-engage in the marriage and remains emotionally distant,
- either spouse is not willing to acknowledge the changes the other makes, preferring a victim role or identity,
- either spouse is engaged in an affair,
- either spouse is active in an addiction,
- either spouse lacks humility, or
- you’ve chosen an individual counselor and not a systemic counselor or therapist.
A good marriage therapist will need to redirect one or both spouses at various times in the process. A great marriage therapist will have to deconstruct, reconstruct and build anew – all at the same time.
Marriage counseling and couples therapy can work if:
- both spouses are humble,
- both spouses have goodwill for the other, and
- both spouses are willing to undo years’ worth of resentment, clearing out historical anger to reveal new ground for new communication, trust, and relating.
At EMBRACE, we have marriage counselors ready to start the healing journey with you. Rockwall, Heath, Forney, Royse City, and surrounding areas have an excellent choice in EMBRACE; we are affordable and offer expert care to couples.
While we wish every relationship and family could be saved, if you find yourself in a relationship or marriage that is ending, we can help support you through that process.
MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS DON’T GO AWAY ON THEIR OWN
Couples who go to one or two couples sessions and give up are not likely to leave those few sessions with the adequate skill to heal and grow stronger. A couple’s therapist fights for the relationship, so at times, may challenge one or both of you. Research says that an alliance to the couples therapist is the key factor in couples and marriage counseling effectiveness. It takes time for the couple’s therapist to build this alliance.
A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT
At EMBRACE, if both partners are in the fight to resuscitate or rebuild love, we are in the fight with you. We are family and marriage friendly therapists! We will hold hope for you until you can sustain a hope-filled relationship.