Can you really “divorce-proof” your marriage and stop divorce?

What can you do to divorce-proof your marriage? Is it even possible to stop divorce that seems like it is inevitable?

There are two qualities that a couple needs to divorce-proof their marriage.

Those two qualities are commitment and connection. When a couple is committed to each other, no matter what happens, they are invested in making their relationship work.

Couples often wonder if they should commit when things are hard, they are unsure of a future together, or when they are locked in a power struggle. The irony of commitment is that it is deeply freeing. Once you choose responsibility and commitment over doubt, the solutions to fixing power struggles, conflict or relational pain are easier to access. The hard work can begin. Leaving is easy if we’ve not fought for love.

The other quality needed to divorce-proof a marriage is connection. We are designed for connection. We need connection to grow and heal. When we feel a lack of connection with our spouse we are designed to protest, to “cry out” against separation. Sometimes we do this in ways that are not acceptable or in ways that perpetuate relational breakdown.

For couples to divorce-proof their marriage, we need to develop a habit of turning to our partners, instead of away from them, so that we can maintain connection through pushed buttons, power struggles, or emotional hurt.

With connection and commitment, here are ways to protect your marriage from intrusion and destruction:

  1. Present yourself as a couple on all social media sites.
  2. Complete digital transparency, share all passwords.
  3. Be intentional about date nights and regular intimacy.
  4. Be intentional about sharing household chores, family events, and activities.
  5. Share your emotions and feelings about the marriage with your spouse or pastor, not someone else of the opposite sex.
  6. Communicate with care and openness.ย  Be accessible, responsive and empathic.
  7. Regularly check-in throughout the day.
  8. Pray with each other daily.
  9. Have integrity in thought, word and action.
  10. Be generational-minded.ย  Your children matter, and deserve your best.ย  Love their other parent whole-heartedly & fight for love.

If you experience infidelity, our therapists are ready to help.

If your spouse leaves the marriage, we can help you find your emotional footing and encourage your walk with strength and dignity.

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